I got new nail polish today. My nails are baby pink right now :) Doesn't that just make you happy when you get a new shirt, or new makeup, or new nail polish, and you get to wear it for the first time? I'm waiting for them to dry so I can go for a run; one of them got smudged and had to be redone. Fail.
The past two weeks have been quite an emotional roller coaster. It's almost making me wonder if I'm bipolar, lol.
Last night I got 3 hours of sleep. I've been so out of it today. I put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge this afternoon. Then used Clean & Clear instead of nail polish remover. An early night's sleep is almost starting to sound better than running...
I got to talk to a girl about God today while filling out Detroit papers. It's pretty cool how I'm not even there yet, and not even knowing if I'm going, yet God's already using me in this trip. I know she's not a believer, but while we had some free time and I was filling out my forms, she started asking me questions about the trip. It was pretty cool.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Retreat.
It's been such a great few weeks :) It's crazy how God will answer prayers. I'm really excited to see what He's going to do in my life, and how the things He's doing now will affect me later.
Last night the Fuel team had our retreat of sorts late into the night. It was definitely a blast. Now if you know me, you are quite aware that running is not my spiritual gift - but I love a good game of Capture the Flag. I was stunned by how many people didn't know how to play or had never played before! Lori, Elinor, and I did a pretty good job at taking defense; although the other team was good at hiding out behind trees on our side without being seen. There was a lot of yelling, laughing, tripping, and running into things. Good times. I was quite proud of myself (and will probably brag about it for days) that I captured a flag without being seen at all. I'm none too small, and was wearing a bright yellow shirt, while still managing to sneak around the backyard, having no idea where anything was, and run back to the other side. Quite an adrenalin rush, the last few yards before I was considered "safe"!
I got schooled in the art of smores making, having never done that before. I'm still quite grossed out by the fact that you take sticks - from the wilderness, and put food on them to eat. It was good though; Elinor and Cameron had to save me from my marshmallow en fuego. Davey wrapped us up with some acoustic worship songs; it was great.
My favorite part though, had to be the glowsticks. We all went out into the middle of the backyard, took an unsnapped glowstick, and spread out. At the call, we all lit our glowsticks and were to be quiet for a few moments. I saw us all standing there, barely visible, shining a light in the darkness. I'm wasn't really aware of my surroundings after that, and prayed for our team. Being able to "shine a light" has been something I've been trying to do for so long.
Today I got up at 5am to babysit. It's naptime right now, and the house is peaceful with 3 sleeping babies and 1 quietly playing toddler; I'm pretty sure I could fall asleep myself. But I should probably take this time to clean up and do homework. The living room is an explosion of child, and the kitchen is the remnants of lunch - almost a 2 hour event to get the whole fiasco finished. An essay on Animal Farm is wanting to be done, and a baby needs to be fed soon.
Last night the Fuel team had our retreat of sorts late into the night. It was definitely a blast. Now if you know me, you are quite aware that running is not my spiritual gift - but I love a good game of Capture the Flag. I was stunned by how many people didn't know how to play or had never played before! Lori, Elinor, and I did a pretty good job at taking defense; although the other team was good at hiding out behind trees on our side without being seen. There was a lot of yelling, laughing, tripping, and running into things. Good times. I was quite proud of myself (and will probably brag about it for days) that I captured a flag without being seen at all. I'm none too small, and was wearing a bright yellow shirt, while still managing to sneak around the backyard, having no idea where anything was, and run back to the other side. Quite an adrenalin rush, the last few yards before I was considered "safe"!
I got schooled in the art of smores making, having never done that before. I'm still quite grossed out by the fact that you take sticks - from the wilderness, and put food on them to eat. It was good though; Elinor and Cameron had to save me from my marshmallow en fuego. Davey wrapped us up with some acoustic worship songs; it was great.
My favorite part though, had to be the glowsticks. We all went out into the middle of the backyard, took an unsnapped glowstick, and spread out. At the call, we all lit our glowsticks and were to be quiet for a few moments. I saw us all standing there, barely visible, shining a light in the darkness. I'm wasn't really aware of my surroundings after that, and prayed for our team. Being able to "shine a light" has been something I've been trying to do for so long.
Today I got up at 5am to babysit. It's naptime right now, and the house is peaceful with 3 sleeping babies and 1 quietly playing toddler; I'm pretty sure I could fall asleep myself. But I should probably take this time to clean up and do homework. The living room is an explosion of child, and the kitchen is the remnants of lunch - almost a 2 hour event to get the whole fiasco finished. An essay on Animal Farm is wanting to be done, and a baby needs to be fed soon.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I need sleep. Bad.
I'm starting to wonder if you can die from lack of sleep. Or if survival skills will kick in and force you to pass out to sleep. I've been running in zombie mode lately, ranging in different levels of crankiness. I haven't slept more than 6 hours in over a month. The only day I have a chance to sleep in is Friday night / Saturday morning - and that has been busy for weeks... the schedule isn't looking like it's going to clear up before summer begins **insert hyperventalating deep, relaxing, yoga-like breaths here**.
My eyes are being blinded from the screen. I'm sitting in the Meehl's dark living room "doing homework" on my laptop and texting as the kids watch tv and eat ice cream. I'm a great babysitter... This morning I got up at 5am to watch a group of babies pro bono for two families. That's love. As soon as I got in the car to leave that job, I got a text asking to babysit tonight. So I went home for about an hour or two, packed my overnight bag, and here I am. She's cashing in her Christmas present - a free babysitting. That's love. I'm still trying to find a light in this living room, lol.
Kinsey stayed the night last night; I pickedon her all night her up on my way home from school. I've had all of 2 hours to myself this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I absolutely love being with people and being busy; babysitting makes me want to be a mom so bad (shout-out to MS52: you can breathe on that comment - not any time soon). I JUST NEED SLEEP.
I called my father-figure, Nate, earlier this week and vented. One of those vents of frustration. I got about 2 minutes of sub-meltdown in. Until the phone call ended with something like "You're over tired. You have two options: go to bed right after you hang up (note: it was only 9pm) and call me when you wake up; or hang up, don't go to bed, and don't call in the morning. Goodnight, love you." After a bit of protesting that I wouldn't fall asleep before midnight anyway, I chose the former option - and no, I didn't call back at 5am when I got up - that's not very loving. I didn't end up falling asleep until midnight, either. HML.
Side note: I haven't bit my nails in 3 weeks :) Whitney's No-Bite ministry is quite successful! Maybe this lack of a vice is contributing to my crankiness.
Besides physical exhaustion, I'd say it's been a good weekend so far :)
My eyes are being blinded from the screen. I'm sitting in the Meehl's dark living room "doing homework" on my laptop and texting as the kids watch tv and eat ice cream. I'm a great babysitter... This morning I got up at 5am to watch a group of babies pro bono for two families. That's love. As soon as I got in the car to leave that job, I got a text asking to babysit tonight. So I went home for about an hour or two, packed my overnight bag, and here I am. She's cashing in her Christmas present - a free babysitting. That's love. I'm still trying to find a light in this living room, lol.
Kinsey stayed the night last night; I picked
I called my father-figure, Nate, earlier this week and vented. One of those vents of frustration. I got about 2 minutes of sub-meltdown in. Until the phone call ended with something like "You're over tired. You have two options: go to bed right after you hang up (note: it was only 9pm) and call me when you wake up; or hang up, don't go to bed, and don't call in the morning. Goodnight, love you." After a bit of protesting that I wouldn't fall asleep before midnight anyway, I chose the former option - and no, I didn't call back at 5am when I got up - that's not very loving. I didn't end up falling asleep until midnight, either. HML.
Side note: I haven't bit my nails in 3 weeks :) Whitney's No-Bite ministry is quite successful! Maybe this lack of a vice is contributing to my crankiness.
Besides physical exhaustion, I'd say it's been a good weekend so far :)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
All smiles.
It's been a good few days. Things are starting to look up. It's crazy how prayers are always answered.
I've realized how much I absolutely love the people I surround myself is - and how odd it is that I love to be around them, yet I don't care if my favorite people in the world are much older than I. "What'd you do this weekend?" I hung out with my youth leaders.
I've gotten the chance the past two Sundays to reconnected with Lori, just sitting on the barstools in her kitchen, chatting about everything and nothing while making brownies. And to get to know Christie, who I could never get on the same page with. Recently, I've been able to build a relationship with somebody who I've known for a long time, but could never fully trust. I've been called "like a daughter" and heard "I love you" more times from a handful of people than from the entire world combined. I've been disciplined and guided and hugged. I've made friends with people I never thought I would talk to, and broken down barriers I never thought would crumble. Do you remember me a year or two ago? Probably not. I was extremely introverted, distrusting, and self-conscious.
I thank God every day for bringing me so far in such a small amount of time. He could have easily let me find my own way. Recently, I've received quite a bit of praise about my character - and people, even non-Christians, are associating it with my "Godliness" (can we put a definition on that, please?). I don't think I ever thought somebody would call me a "Godly woman". (Okay, so hearing my name associated with "woman" is still slightly odd.) It's a bit of a scary thought, to be compared with something so ineffable and powerful - yet it's humbling. I've gotten 2 phone calls today of younger students asking me for advice, and I've had the opportunity to witness 3 times in the past 2 days. It's like I'm paying it forward. God's using me in ways I can't yet see.
So here's to answered prayers and feeling loved.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I've realized how much I absolutely love the people I surround myself is - and how odd it is that I love to be around them, yet I don't care if my favorite people in the world are much older than I. "What'd you do this weekend?" I hung out with my youth leaders.
I've gotten the chance the past two Sundays to reconnected with Lori, just sitting on the barstools in her kitchen, chatting about everything and nothing while making brownies. And to get to know Christie, who I could never get on the same page with. Recently, I've been able to build a relationship with somebody who I've known for a long time, but could never fully trust. I've been called "like a daughter" and heard "I love you" more times from a handful of people than from the entire world combined. I've been disciplined and guided and hugged. I've made friends with people I never thought I would talk to, and broken down barriers I never thought would crumble. Do you remember me a year or two ago? Probably not. I was extremely introverted, distrusting, and self-conscious.
I thank God every day for bringing me so far in such a small amount of time. He could have easily let me find my own way. Recently, I've received quite a bit of praise about my character - and people, even non-Christians, are associating it with my "Godliness" (can we put a definition on that, please?). I don't think I ever thought somebody would call me a "Godly woman". (Okay, so hearing my name associated with "woman" is still slightly odd.) It's a bit of a scary thought, to be compared with something so ineffable and powerful - yet it's humbling. I've gotten 2 phone calls today of younger students asking me for advice, and I've had the opportunity to witness 3 times in the past 2 days. It's like I'm paying it forward. God's using me in ways I can't yet see.
So here's to answered prayers and feeling loved.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Friday, March 20, 2009
Revolting.
This video made me want to vomit. A 55 year old Canadian journalist was taken hostage by the Taliban; she now looks well over 80 and a depressing shade of gray. She has a second hostage video, as well from about a month ago. Even if the Taliban didn't kill her, she doesn't have long to live by the looks of it. I don't think I've ever seen somebody look so pathetic and sick in my life. The woman claims that her captors will kill her by the end of March - less than a week away, if they don't receive their ransom of 2 million dollars. The choice of death: beheading her with a small kinfe. It's heartbreaking to see somebody plea like that and knowing you can't do anything about it; it's not a movie. I can't put it into words.
She's screaming, pleading, begging for somebody to help her. She's desperate and can't understand why her country, her business, the NGO's (non-governmental organizations... think Amnesty International), the government, everybody is ignoring her pleas for help. The US government won't save her; we have a no tolerance policy with terrorists. We have refused to make negotiations with terrorists. When I first heard this theory several years ago, I thought it was good - once you negotiate with one terrorist, you have to negotiate with them all. That will ultimately lead to being manipulated by the terrorists once they see an ounce of weakness. I can't imagine being in that position; do I let this poor woman die, or do I attempt to possibly maybe prevent further negotiations? I can't imagine the desperation she must feel. I'm worrying about getting a B in Spanish and threw a fit today about my mean English teacher, and she can't sleep because she doesn't know if she'll wake up the next morning.
I can't fathom the idea. Somebody needs to help her. Yet nobody can nor will.
She's screaming, pleading, begging for somebody to help her. She's desperate and can't understand why her country, her business, the NGO's (non-governmental organizations... think Amnesty International), the government, everybody is ignoring her pleas for help. The US government won't save her; we have a no tolerance policy with terrorists. We have refused to make negotiations with terrorists. When I first heard this theory several years ago, I thought it was good - once you negotiate with one terrorist, you have to negotiate with them all. That will ultimately lead to being manipulated by the terrorists once they see an ounce of weakness. I can't imagine being in that position; do I let this poor woman die, or do I attempt to possibly maybe prevent further negotiations? I can't imagine the desperation she must feel. I'm worrying about getting a B in Spanish and threw a fit today about my mean English teacher, and she can't sleep because she doesn't know if she'll wake up the next morning.
I can't fathom the idea. Somebody needs to help her. Yet nobody can nor will.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
It's been so long
since I've posted on here, that my browser didn't recognize the website anymore. Slacker.
The past few weeks have been crazy. Testing, bronchitis, FCAT, SLT, Sweet 16, VBS stuff, hanging out. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing SO much that I never have a chance to fully enjoy where I am at the very moment. I'm totally going out on a limb here, but I'm going to guess that if you have anxiety when you're not working, there's probably a problem.
Friday afternoon Kinsey, Lacey, and Haili came over to the house. We went tanning (well, they went tanning; my chicken-pox scarred, albino, no-sun medication side effect self sat in the shade) at the condo's pool, and made some friends with some spring breakers. Holla.
That night we went to stay at Kinsey's. Cameron brought us home McDonalds late at night... which gave us food poisoning for the rest of the weekend. That's some fun stuff. Kinsey and I laid in bed all day Saturday doing absolutely nothing, until my two favorite people in the world called to ask if we wanted to spend the night.
Saturday night we stayed at Nate and Amanda's. Nate's getting a legit night light for his guest room - it is SO dark in there. After a few "what are you? Five?" comments from Nate, the lovely Amanda put the bathroom light in our room.
Sunday I went to church, took a nap, and went back to Fuel (aren't those the best kind of Sundays?). I'm pretty excited for Fuel. My "spiritual gifts" totally fit me. Planner, Learner, Organizer.
I love the weekends when I'm not home. It's refreshing :)
Now, I'm procrastinating the work I need to do, and my legs are crying - 6 mile bike ride after not working out for a few days. Ouch. But I want to fit into my old clothes, so it's all good :) I think I'll take a deep breath, do a bit of work, and then spend some time with God. It's really interesting that whenever I don't study or do my work, and instead read my bible, I never have a problem the next day.
The past few weeks have been crazy. Testing, bronchitis, FCAT, SLT, Sweet 16, VBS stuff, hanging out. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing SO much that I never have a chance to fully enjoy where I am at the very moment. I'm totally going out on a limb here, but I'm going to guess that if you have anxiety when you're not working, there's probably a problem.
Friday afternoon Kinsey, Lacey, and Haili came over to the house. We went tanning (well, they went tanning; my chicken-pox scarred, albino, no-sun medication side effect self sat in the shade) at the condo's pool, and made some friends with some spring breakers. Holla.
That night we went to stay at Kinsey's. Cameron brought us home McDonalds late at night... which gave us food poisoning for the rest of the weekend. That's some fun stuff. Kinsey and I laid in bed all day Saturday doing absolutely nothing, until my two favorite people in the world called to ask if we wanted to spend the night.
Saturday night we stayed at Nate and Amanda's. Nate's getting a legit night light for his guest room - it is SO dark in there. After a few "what are you? Five?" comments from Nate, the lovely Amanda put the bathroom light in our room.
Sunday I went to church, took a nap, and went back to Fuel (aren't those the best kind of Sundays?). I'm pretty excited for Fuel. My "spiritual gifts" totally fit me. Planner, Learner, Organizer.
I love the weekends when I'm not home. It's refreshing :)
Now, I'm procrastinating the work I need to do, and my legs are crying - 6 mile bike ride after not working out for a few days. Ouch. But I want to fit into my old clothes, so it's all good :) I think I'll take a deep breath, do a bit of work, and then spend some time with God. It's really interesting that whenever I don't study or do my work, and instead read my bible, I never have a problem the next day.
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