A city where I can settle

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. - verses 6 & 7

I love it when God makes a great rescue. When all seems hopeless and like the villain is going to win, in steps Jesus to save the day and "bind up the brokenhearted". During the reign of King Jehoiakim, the Babylonian empire invaded Judah, God's holy land. King Nebuchadnezzar (affectionately known as King Nebby) was exalted and took the Jews hostage, bringing them into captivity. Almost overnight, these poor families were suddenly prisoners, some of them in a new land. They were beaten on, starved, degraded, and abused.

But you see, the awesome thing about God though, is that He "will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance." God promised the Israelites long ago that he would always bring them back, even from the most distant lands. He promised to never leave nor forsake them. The amazing thing is that God never goes back on these promises, and they transcend generations.

The Jews held captive in Babylon began their prayer with a reflection of praise and worship. They then moved right into communicating to God exactly what was hurting them and remembered how He had redeemed them so many times before. They held onto their faith of the past, and never gave up hope that their Maker would come back once more to save them. Even in the midst of captivity, they thanked God for all He had done, and for that which was coming. They cried out, despite their iniquities, approaching the throne with reverence, fear, and faith. It was then that God rescued them from their deepest gloom, their mire, and their prison. It was then, only after they had acknowledged the power of God and put all their trust in Him that He broke away their chains and brought them to a city where they could settle - a place where they could rest their heads and find peace.

As for me, in quietness and trust is my strength. I too, will only be rescued through repentance and rest. The funny thing is though, that God asks for us rest before we are even healed and brought into the place were we think we should be. It makes me want to say, with my finger on the poorly drawn map that I've crafted for my own life, "Umm, God, come on now. I can't relax when I'm surrounded by this and this! If you'll just bring me here, then I can rest. Then I'll be okay. Then I can keep my head above water, and everything will be good." But (thankfully), that's not how it works. The great thing is that God is working on my team. He has plans for me that are greater than anything I can scheme up, that all work for the greater good of His Kingdom. When He asks me to rest, He's asking me to trust in Him. He's asking me to bring my matters to the table and know I am heard. He's asking me to rest in Him, knowing that it will all be taken care of accordingly. I too, will find a city where I can settle and be free.

The art of trying.

There's a lot to be said about trying. What people pour their heart and souls into has a reflection on... well, their heart and soul; it'd be foolish to devote ourselves to something that doesn't hold meaning. It's a reflection of our values. We sacrifice big things for the promise of something even greater. We go through the pain of the struggle in the hope of the outcome, much like an athlete punishes his body for the dream of a medal.

I have a friend; I love her with all my heart, and I would hope she would say the same. The odd thing is though, we have had an on-and-off, misunderstood, unresolved falling out for the last year, full of anger and hurt. But there's something that keeps the both of us going. There's some great outcome we are both striving for and believe is out there that keeps both of us moving forward, trying to repair the relationship. It's a friendship that will last for a long time, I am certain, because of the roots it holds and the mutual hope that we both have. The hope is Christ-driven, and tell us that it's okay to be angry, but to not seethe with hate; it's okay to address and confront wrongs, but not to keep a record of them; it's okay to step out of the picture for a season, but to never stop loving. We both know this friendship is not over. We both still go to each other after weeks of silence with both great news of success and shattering, late-night desperation of comfort, or spend the day together like best friends should. Despite what has happened, we still defend each other in front of others and interact civilly together even in the midst of our deepest arguments.

A wise observer told me, "It's crazy, you two. You're radically different, but you love each other. The thing that amazes me though, is that you never stop trying." That's what makes the difference - trying.

Soccer Mom

I took 4 little boys to the movies this morning.
In a minivan.
To watch Alvin & The Chipmunks.
With every other kid in Volusia.

I hate the chipmunks.
A whole lot.
Always have.
But I enjoyed myself - and I'm pretty sure the boys did too (even if they did try to beat each other on the way home... but I think that's an innate masculine thing that never goes away.)

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The status on the Extended Essay?
Nada.

I need to get something done on that.

Thesis

Okay, so I realize most normal teenagers are going to get in their happy place over the prospect of writing an essay during the summer that determines if they can get their diploma or not.

But I'm pretty stinking excited to learn about the place I love most - Detroit.

My essay requires me to answer an investigative question in one of the 6 major areas of the IB hexagon (blah blah blah, nobody cares).

My thesis? (We're still working on the wording, but here's the general gist).

What was the biggest factor in the downfall of Detroit in the 20th century?

The essay will address the downfall of the city from three perspectives

1. Racial - including the white flight phenomenon, the riots of the 1960's, and increased animosity spawned from the influx of uneducated African Americans from the South to work for Ford at lower wages, as well as the Civil Rights movement
2. Economic - focusing on mainly the rise and fall of the automobile industry (see above about Ford), the effects of the highway system, and perhaps some pop-culture industries like Motown Records and Creem magazine and the introduction of drugs to the area
3. Political - specifically approaching the reign of Coleman Young, the areas first black mayor, who can be seen as either friend or foe; the blatant racism of the police force primarily during the first half of the century

It's still in the works.

Housesitting

I've spent the last week housesitting for my pseudo parents, Nate and Amanda. They weren't supposed to come home until tonight - which left me this morning to clean up after myself.

Until they texted me yesterday afternoon saying they came home early.

Umm. Oh crap.

The instant thought that rushed through my head was

• the week's worth of dirty dishes in the sink
• the assortment of clothes left in their bedroom (so the Satan dog wouldn't eat them)
• the explosion of teenage girl in the bathroom
• whatever else I've left out around the house

Can I say enough apologies to save myself from too much embarrassment?

But instead of being angry that their cozy home looked more like a college dorm, they brought me dinner. I came home to money on the table for watching the dog. I walked in the laundry room and found a basket of already clean laundry with some of my stuff in it. The sink was empty. The bathroom was neatly organized, with my stuff either put in nice little piles or back in my makeup bag (which my dad argues is a toolbox, and needs wheels). They came home from the concert after me with a big hug and a kiss.

I think they kind of love me.

Good thing they still don't know about the party.

jk ;-)

Satisfied

"Satisfied is not a life full of activities, but a soul full of Jesus."

Momma Manda started this bible study with me a few weeks ago, and I came across this line in my study today. It made me stop and think for a moment...

What is satisfied?

• Being content
• Needing nothing more
• Having no desire or craving for something else
• Being full, complete, and whole

How often do we go through our lives thinking

"... if I can just get XYZ done in time..."

"... if I can run my miles a minute faster..."

"... if I can get an A on this test..."

"... if I could sign up for this event..."

"... if I could make this work..."

only to find out that once we've accomplished it - we just crave more. We cross one thing off of our TDL, only to add three more items. It's a never ending list of things we wish or need to do. We do things we feel obligated to contribute to. We do things that are expected and required of us. Sometimes (if we're really lucky) we do things we want to do. And maybe, somewhere in there, God gets thrown a bone or two. Quiet spiritual time is both a need and a desire (hopefully!) but somehow always gets thrown on the backburner between working full days and making dinner.

I don't think God had much of a TDL when He made the heavens and the earth. I don't think He stressed about where to put this tree, or what shape to make Adam's nose, and I'm sure He didn't worry about if He would have time to do the laundry between running to the store, making it to movie night (oops, I'm blogging instead of doing that one!), or going to yoga. He just did. He just covered the earth with greenery - and said that it was good. He just made Adam, and knew that because He put his love into it, it must be good.

I'm not sure Jesus had a planner He kept with him in His purse (I would argue that when you go from city to city, you're allowed to carry a bag and still be masculine - but I believe He said something somewhere in the bible about not having any possessions) that had events color-coded and time-slotted. I'm not sure He had to schedule people in days or a week ahead of time in order to "make time" for them. He just went. He just lived. He did what He needed to do. Am I making sense?

Now if we look at my life...

• I'm babysitting 74 hours this week (14+ hour days!)
• Charlie, my car, has a doctor's appointment
• I have meetings with multiple people that I have to attend
• I have to work the concert (after a full day of babysitting)
• I need to find somewhere in there to work out, clean, do laundry
• I'm not really sure where I'm living next week (does anybody have a spare bedroom and would like to house a teenage girl for a bit?)
• I'd like to see my friends some time this week

My schedule is full. But is my soul?

I thought today about what I had to do. The father of the kids I nanny for said he would be coming home a couple of hours early today. The first thing I did was think of all the things I could do with these extra two or three hours - go run a few miles, go to yoga, start a load of laundry, do the dishes, sweep the floors, complete another day in my bible study, go to Movie & Theology. Then it hit me - I'm exhausted. I'm tired and full of events and things to do. I can't remember the last time I just sat in front of a TV or on my laptop by myself for a half hour just to escape and regroup.

So instead of going out or being productive, I stayed home and vegged out. Then I went to bed. And it was good.

Adventures

I'm almost certain that Aunt Michelle is ready to beat me for not blogging in so long.
My life over the past few months has been quite the adventure. The entire contents of my closet that still fits has been packed into my Detroit bag - organized and packed in 40 minutes, with room to spare! (Feel free to donate to the Danineedsnewclothes Fund).

It's been mass chaos around Danville... for reasons I cannot explain on my public blog (thanks Mom, for cyberstalking me to get info for court).

However, I did get a chance to get out of this town for at least a day. So while it may not quite fit the "road trip" description (I'd argue that any trip that leaves you yelling at each other over directions is a road trip), it was my first unchaperoned out of town adventure - and we didn't do half bad getting there! We only had to stop for directions once, but we were so close to our destination. I must say, Paige, Elyce, and I know St. Augustine like the back of our hands now.

I've always been a pretty cautious person, but I think through everything that's happened over the last few years, that's changed. Sure, I'm still pretty high maintenance, and I still go into shut down mode when I overheat, but I've found a new love in exploring and trying new things... including climbing all over the ruins in St. Augustine.

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Now if you know me, you're probably fully aware that I don't do well with nature (refer to above comment about heat)... but I think this would make Steve Irwin proud... don't hate on the gloves though. A girl's gotta make sure she doesn't get salmonella ;-)

Take a good look at this picture.
No, look again.
Do you see that?
That's mud.
Thick, gooey, black mud full of whoknowswhat kind of bacteria and other critters.
I'm up to my calves in it.
And yes, I got in that kayak (new adventure for me!)

But I loved it.
Enough said.

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Okay! So finally, we're back inside! Hello, air conditioning, UV-protection, and dirt-free ground! But before I risk looking like too much of a sissy again, please note that that is slick ice that we are running (and falling!) on.

Kevin has introduced Refined to broomball.

Possibly my new sport of choice - if I were to ever get a chance to play again. It's essentially hockey with brooms instead of sticks, and shoes instead of skates (omit any physics here). You will crash. You will be bruised. You will become ultra-competitive, and then realize going faster and playing harder... only makes you crash faster and fall harder. That's my kinda game... I'm secretly highly competitive.

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And saving the best for last... Here is the latest picture of my baby sister, Amira Rose (who doesn't look so much like an alien anymore).

Let's say it all together now... Awww (-:

Momma Manda surprised me yesterday by kidnapping me - I must say, I thought I was in some sort of trouble when she demanded I tell her where I was and that I was coming with her, whether I wanted to or not. But she totally made my whole week by letting me come to a sonogram with her and Dad!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM! I was all smiles. It's probably the most amazing thing ever. Can anybody put into words how AWESOME our God is?

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Next on my list of adventures?

- Shoot a gun

- Canoe the Panama Canal (okay, so this one is a very distant goal)

- Do yoga with Aunt Michelle

- Go to the circus with Aunt Michelle ;-)

- Actually finish a sewing project with Aunt Michelle