Satisfied

"Satisfied is not a life full of activities, but a soul full of Jesus."

Momma Manda started this bible study with me a few weeks ago, and I came across this line in my study today. It made me stop and think for a moment...

What is satisfied?

• Being content
• Needing nothing more
• Having no desire or craving for something else
• Being full, complete, and whole

How often do we go through our lives thinking

"... if I can just get XYZ done in time..."

"... if I can run my miles a minute faster..."

"... if I can get an A on this test..."

"... if I could sign up for this event..."

"... if I could make this work..."

only to find out that once we've accomplished it - we just crave more. We cross one thing off of our TDL, only to add three more items. It's a never ending list of things we wish or need to do. We do things we feel obligated to contribute to. We do things that are expected and required of us. Sometimes (if we're really lucky) we do things we want to do. And maybe, somewhere in there, God gets thrown a bone or two. Quiet spiritual time is both a need and a desire (hopefully!) but somehow always gets thrown on the backburner between working full days and making dinner.

I don't think God had much of a TDL when He made the heavens and the earth. I don't think He stressed about where to put this tree, or what shape to make Adam's nose, and I'm sure He didn't worry about if He would have time to do the laundry between running to the store, making it to movie night (oops, I'm blogging instead of doing that one!), or going to yoga. He just did. He just covered the earth with greenery - and said that it was good. He just made Adam, and knew that because He put his love into it, it must be good.

I'm not sure Jesus had a planner He kept with him in His purse (I would argue that when you go from city to city, you're allowed to carry a bag and still be masculine - but I believe He said something somewhere in the bible about not having any possessions) that had events color-coded and time-slotted. I'm not sure He had to schedule people in days or a week ahead of time in order to "make time" for them. He just went. He just lived. He did what He needed to do. Am I making sense?

Now if we look at my life...

• I'm babysitting 74 hours this week (14+ hour days!)
• Charlie, my car, has a doctor's appointment
• I have meetings with multiple people that I have to attend
• I have to work the concert (after a full day of babysitting)
• I need to find somewhere in there to work out, clean, do laundry
• I'm not really sure where I'm living next week (does anybody have a spare bedroom and would like to house a teenage girl for a bit?)
• I'd like to see my friends some time this week

My schedule is full. But is my soul?

I thought today about what I had to do. The father of the kids I nanny for said he would be coming home a couple of hours early today. The first thing I did was think of all the things I could do with these extra two or three hours - go run a few miles, go to yoga, start a load of laundry, do the dishes, sweep the floors, complete another day in my bible study, go to Movie & Theology. Then it hit me - I'm exhausted. I'm tired and full of events and things to do. I can't remember the last time I just sat in front of a TV or on my laptop by myself for a half hour just to escape and regroup.

So instead of going out or being productive, I stayed home and vegged out. Then I went to bed. And it was good.