Strength comes from struggles. I have matured more during high school than my entire life combined. When my mother left, I became “mini-mom”, forced to develop necessary skills. After my father left and I was sent to live with another family, I had to wrestle through those emotions. I grew up, I became responsible. I would not wish that suffering on my worst enemy, but I would not trade, either. It created Dani – living, smiling, and mature.
I am part of Fuel Student Leadership Team. We are given the opportunity to not only succeed with excellence, but also to fail and feel defeat. While we are provided with guidance, our team is also given freedom to make mistakes – and learn accordingly. The taste of setbacks makes the victory much sweeter; reflection of all the obstacles that had to be overcome to achieve our goals makes us that much more grateful. Our greatest success comes from the meetings that begin with arguing and end in negotiation. Our leadership skills are developed when we are faced with real-world opposition; I can read about great leaders and gain little, but am able to apply and strengthen principles like “Leaders face opposition with integrity” when I am challenged with rebounding from a mistake.
I firmly believe that our greatest growth comes through suffering. While I do not think we should purposefully create conflict, it is only when I am faced with opposition that I decide what is important. Extreme situations bring out truth and movement in people. If Wilfred Owen had never suffered war, he would have never produced raw poetry. When we are faced with our demons, we learn how to fight them. Too often though, we are enabled; we are sheltered from anything negative, which ironically cripples us rather than protects us. I grew up in a home where nothing was asked of me; I found myself at fourteen completely ignorant to domestic work. Nobody had ever argued with me to clean the bathroom or patiently rebuked me until I was proficient with a stove.
Michael Goodwin argues in his video that our culture is inflicted with “entitlement mania”; we have a mindset that tells us that we are not responsible for our actions. This is incredibly dangerous. Invincibility or the “Superhero Complex” causes people to behave rashly; the thought process shifts to “Ready? Fire! Aim.” I believe that overprotection can at times be worse than vulnerability. It pains a parent for them to watch their child struggle, but experience is also the best lesson. People almost always rise to their expectations. It is when we demand too little and give too much that people become ungrateful, manipulative, and fail to thrive.
My Jesus tells me that we are to “count it all joy”; suffering is merely developing perseverance (James 1:2-5). Pain is our greatest teacher. It is only in the midst of opposition that we find what we are truly made of. That’s freedom – to be and to find the true “you”.
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