Friday, January 6, 2012

Ten year plan, revised edition

I made a decision today that may will change my "Ten Year Plan" (which I have abandoned) and the life I thought I would lead.

I am working towards establishing California residency - which according to every online article I read could be incredibly hard for me, even if I do meet the requirements. But God has a plan; He has not missed a chance to remind me that this is my new life. This is my new "normal". He has plans for me here, in LA county, at least for now.

This residency will make logistical things a whole lot easier around here - no more shifting papers back and forth across the country, having to show multiple ID's, explaining to bankers and offices why I want to do such and such but do not have proof that I live here. In this state, proving who you are is very important. Maybe Florida will be in my future again. Maybe North Carolina. Maybe Kenya. Maybe Mexico. I don't know. But I do know that wants me to stick around a bit in the 626.

I am finding myself okay with not knowing.

I have been wrestling with this idea since January of last year, of making California my home. God is good; He has lined everything up for me. My job. My classes. My finances. My rides.

My biggest fear was the adjustment to a place where I did not know a single soul; He has that covered, too. I have met some amazing people that I am so blessed to know. He has provided me with a circle of adult mentors who take time to lead me and guide me; some meet with me at a set time each week, some share in the mundane moments of life, and others are my go-to during times of homesickness and decision making.

He has given me a beautiful group of friends who I love and adore. We simply do life together - we are a community. We borrow each other's muffin tins and vacuum cleaners, study in our pajamas until we pass out on the library floor, bring cough drops and a magazine to the sick among us, break bread together, and simply knock on a door to kill some time. We are in this together - whether it is finals week and I haven't showered or gotten out of sweats in two days, or we are celebrating birthdays and the winning of awards. It is a beautiful thing, campus life.

I have been at school for only four months, yet it feels like four years. I am completely comfortable and joyful. People think I am kidding when I say I love my school, but it truly was the best decision I ever made (besides following Jesus). God has taught me so much over the last few months and has finally granted me the strength to abandon my "Ten Year Plan" for a much better itinerary - His. I won't know where I will be next year or what I am doing tomorrow, but I do know that He will show me each step I should take. Like a foggy mist, I am only able to see the next step or two in front of me, trusting that I will not trip over what is unseen.

Right now I am in the midst of prayer about a decision that will drastically change my life. I have this horrible fear that God is calling me to be part of a certain ministry more often, if not full-time. My humanness thinks that this is terrifying, because it will completely destroy everything I once thought of as normal and place me in all sorts of risks. If this decision is within His will, though, I know I will be okay. I have an overall sense of peace and I sense Him maybe preparing me already for some of the difficulties that will come if He calls me.

Until then, pray with me - we are in this together.

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